Pray to the Cake Gods

Oh cake gods, I need an affirmation that you hear my pleas and have agreed that this poor soul has indeed suffered enough as to be able to have a frosting that comes together and stays together without complaint! Can I have a sign? A sudden rippling of milk that solidifies the chocolate? Or a stroke of lightning, I hear that the Big Guy does that often enough. Or maybe just a loud crash, I would understand that, yes. Help me make the batter that didn't rise enough as soft as possible, and the frosting as smooth and creamy as I can whip it. I'm not sure how the cake gods like it, but I will light some incense at your feet...or something else...I don't know, that's what God apparently loves since everyone does it, but I'm not sure why ringing a great, big bell is pleasing to God. I would glare ferociously at anyone who woke me up with clamoring bells just to see me all tossed and trampled in the morning. Anyways, cake gods, next time, I will go shopping myself because my father does not know the difference between baking soda and baking powder, and so my cake is about one inch thick...Was that loud banging a sign! Are you agreeing that fathers do tend to impede the natural courses of cakes everywhere! Oh...no Alisha just woke up...

Well, thank you in advance cake gods. God speed. Not that you need it, though, seeing as you are gods...
I'm going to go finish my cake now. Yeah.